Jokes

Well thought that this few jokes cna lighten up everyone day since exam's are coming.


1)
What is Marketing?

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and say,"I am very rich. Marry me!"

"That's Direct Marketing"

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.One of your friends goes
up to her and pointing at you says,He's very rich. Marry him."

"That's Advertising."

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and get her telephone number.The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."

"That's Telemarketing."

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.You open the door for her,pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say,"By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?"

"That's Public Relations."

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich, I want to marry you."

"That's Brand Recognition."

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and say,"I'm rich. Marry me"She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

"That's Customer Feedback."

2)
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said,

"Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you A wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of Water to become, then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and Immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so Contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."

3)
This is consider the best and funniest

A Primary School teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The
teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the Primary 1. My sister is in Primary 3
and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in Primary 3 too!"

The teacher took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the
outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the Primary 1, and
behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in. The conditions were
explained, and Harry agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
H! arry: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a Primary 1
student should know.

The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to Primary 3."

The teacher says to the principal, "May I ask him some tougher questions?"
The principal and Harry both agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two?"
Harry: "Legs."

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The
principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Harry: "Pockets."

Teacher: "What does a dog do when a man steps in?"
Harry: "Pants."

Teacher: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, and it is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open
really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Coconut."

Teacher: "What goes in hard ! and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Harry: "Bubblegum."

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and
dog do
on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."

Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"

Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do." Who am I?
Harry: "A Tent."

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first." What am I? (Principal was looking restless
and a bit tense)
Harry: "A Wedding Ring."

Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, I feel good." What am I?
Harry: "A Nose."

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver." What am I?
Harry: "An Arrow."

Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot
of excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put this
ass in Primary 6! I got the last 10 questions all wrong myself."

More coming up not enough time to upload all xD