Sad~~!!

Well i knew that it would be coming.I had hope that it would not happen.But it has.One of my classmate has chosen the path of dropping out of my course.The reasons are unclear.It seems that i would have a hand in it......then i may not.Its always sad to lose a friend,even if it was barely 3 months.He started out to me as a calm and silent guy during orientation.During our first week together,we begin our friendship.We got to know about each other's good and bad points.

It was during the 3 or 4 week of my life in NYP that it happen.He had became irritating,many people could not stand him.Not because he did something bad.But it was because he could not understand the stuff teacher has asked him to do.First it was minor then gradually he kept asking and asking and hoped for us to give him the right and full answer.We didn't want to give him such answer so he kept asking and asking without trying to understand.

Then we gradually begin to ignore him.Whenever he asked us for helped,we would push the responsibility to each other.During one test,we were irritated by his groaning and sounds he make when he was unable to answer a question.Then came the project,one of us had to team up with him.It was left to one of my friend.The worked was assign to him and he didn't do it or was unable to do it.Then my friend that team up with him flared up and gave no work to him to do anymore.I too blame myself as i ignore him too.I would asked him to get lost.He gradually drifted away from us.When the next project work came,no one wanted to group with him.

I guess that was the last straw,and he had chosen the path to quit.

Then during a unexpected event,i got to know that he was very depress that we were ignoring him,depress that my friend had not gave him any work for his project and also depress that we had forsaken him.

I blame myself for not understanding him better,i blame myself for not trying to help him,i blame myself for not making an effort and most of all i blame myself for not offering to tutor him earlier.It was that week that i told myself ok i am gonna find him today and tell him that i am gonna help tutor him in his work.

But alas who could i blame now but myself.If i had just lend my hand or even tried to do it earlier,none of this may happen.We may be still happily together as a friend.He was a good friend to have...and i lost the chance to cherish it.I only hope that he gets better friends in his new enviroment and new school.I am totally ashame of myself.No matter what he had done,he didnt deserve it.

Maybe he really felt that he could no longer take it and didnt want to bother us.Maybe he felt that he was not suited for this course.Maybe he just felt that poly was not the live he wanted.Maybe i am just giving too much excuse for something i was wrong...Maybeeee.....

I wish you well if you are reading this blog entry.I wish you all the best in your new school.I wish that you won't get crappy friends like me.Most of all i wish that you would not be bother about such things

(This post may sound too soft but it is really how i feel.I am not gay thank you but this are really what i wanted to say)